Hummingbird ⇄ Kitten

My dearest, Sam
I hope this letter will find you, wherever you are. I hope you are safe. I cannot tell how much it hurts to be away from you. Waking up alone in this wasted land, realising what happened, that you disappeared without a clue. I have spent days searching in the ruins. I have been looking for you everywhere, in the whole city. I still am. Because I still think you are somewhere out there. I am sure of it. If someone like me could even have a chance to survive this, then you have billions to be alive.
I joined a group of survivors called "The Greens". Someone there recently advised me to write a letter if I had someone to find. She said postmen of Arcadia Bay are supernaturally good at finding their recipients. This is why I am writing this tonight. If those word can find you, please meet me in front of the whale statue in Atlantide. I will be waiting for you there everyday at sunset.
I love you.

My beloved Sam,
I have no words to express how tormented I was when the postman gave me my letter back saying he could not find you. Three weeks have passed and I have experienced the urge to write again everyday since. Especially today when I know it is your special day and you are spending it alone in the cold. I know you are somewhere out there, I can feel it.
The winter promises to be rude, the wind is freezing and we have no shelter to spend the nights. I hope you are safe and not wandering in the cold. I wish you where here with me.
I am starting to accommodate to the Greens' way of living. Every survivor chose a nickname after the Tempest and our group members all have animals names as surnames. Mine is Hummingbird. I participate into the community life, I have a rare chance to take care of the Nature, and I think I like that. I think there would be a place for you too, here. Please, my love, if those words can reach you, meet me at the whale statue in Atlantide at sunset. I will be waiting for you there everyday.
I hope I will find you soon.
I love you with my whole heart.

Moon of my life,
Where are you? It has been almost three months since you disappeared and the other letters I wrote you came back to me without a word.
The major part of the dead bodies has finally been removed from the ruins and buried at the edge of the city, finding a corpse begins to be unusual so each time a new one is discovered, pictures of you suddenly flash in my head. My blood starts racing in my veins, my lungs stop working, my heart misses a beat, and I wonder if it will be you - I pray the Universe so it won't. I try to identify as many people as I can : so far I have seen more than a hundred women. But I do not like it. This is scary. This is nothing but desolation. My only relief after each look I take at them is to realise it wasn't you.
But I need to find you. The more time passes, the more worried I get. If you can read those words, please meet me at the whale statue in Atlantide at sunset. I will wait for you there everyday. If this letter never reaches you, please hear my will, hear my heart and my love for you. Send me a hint. Anything. Anything that tells you are alive, anything that helps me find you.
Please, take care of yourself and don't ever forget I love you whole.
I miss you.

My love,
How can I tell how terrified I am? Thinking of you somewhere, alone, while I have food, water, work and a roof upon my head. How can I be so incompetent to find you? I am so scared to loose you forever. The last later came back to me, again, so I will not send any more not to bother the nice postmen. Still, I will write, hoping that you will hear my words from where you are. Please reach out to me. By any way. I will look in the Stars, search in the Nature, listen to the Universe if you send me any signal. I conjure you to do it.
I love you forever,
I miss you.

My tender Sam,
I need to write. I need to write because in spite of everything I tried, I still do not understand. How could such a thing happen? Where you even actually there? It felt so real. It felt like you were back with me. And it felt beautiful. Seeing you after all this months, after all this time wondering if you were alive. Seeing you right in front of my eyes, dancing as if everything was normal, as if we were not stuck in this apocalyptic fucked up world. You have always been one to party in such inappropriate moments. I used to think you would rush to the biggest party of your life if you knew the end of the world was coming. Tell me Sam, are you partying right now? Don't you want to dance with me again? Why did you disappeared? I need to know, Sam. I need to understand why this happened. I spent a day and a night asking the Sky to help me but I feel mute and deaf. Only one thought remains in my mind : if I could understand it, could I make it happen again? Could I make it happen... forever?
I need you, Sam. I am nothing but a wandering soul without you, a lost cause. And when I saw you yesterday, for a tiny moment I thought we could actually be together again. I would give the whole word to be with you just one more time. Come to me, I beg you.
I love you from the bottom of my soul.

My dear Sam,
I know I did not write in a while. I am sorry. Truth is, I have been spending a lot of time working on Arcadia Bay mysteries with an exploration partner of mine named Batman. She is as joyful as crazy and I like investigating with her. There is also a man named Peter. His surname is Merlin and I met him in the forest. Exploring with him makes me feel really good. All the discoveries we make, all the people I encounter, all the strange events that are happening nowadays... It's as many things to keep me away from what scares and hurts me. Including the thought of still not finding you. Sam, am I a bad person for that? Should I feel ashamed? I think I do. I swear I am not giving up on you, Sam. It just... It hurts me so much. It makes me feel so powerless not to be able to find you after all this time. And still, I care for any hint, any detail that could help me to see you again. Last week I even suddenly turned into you at the bar. And it was not the alcohol, I can tell it. I was not even drunk yet. How am I supposed to understand this? I need help, Sam. I need you. I need to find you.
I love you.

My lovely Sam,
More strange and scary things keep happening. I have this strange black mark on my chest and it terrifies me, I do not know what it is. Tuesday, Batman disappeared. A Shadow came out from nowhere and killed her. The Pirates Leader took her saying he could save her but she did not reappeared since. I am sad and scared. She was my partner and my friend. And now I don't know where she is or how she is doing. Just like you. Am I ever going to see both of you again? I see you in dreams Sam, I need you, I just. I can't.

[It's fretfully written, some words are scrawled or erased.]

SAM PLEASE COME BACK
Samia,
I cannot keep going like this. I don't even know what is real anymore. Was it real yesterday? I need help Sam I think I am going crazy. If i I cannot even write anymore Sam what am I gonna do? I tried everything but you disappeared then they all disappear and everything is so fucked up I am so scared and so lonely Sam why are things like this what am I gonna do I am I need you. I beg you to come back to me Sam.
I conjure you
Please
I love you.

Beautiful Sam,
Happy Birthday! I wish I was there to celebrate it with you. I cannot believe this your second birthday I am missing. I have been thinking about you all day. To think you are twenty years old now... If only I could see you.
I hope you are good and safe, wherever you are. I love you forever and more, please do not ever forget it.
I miss you.

My lovely Sam,
Another New Year's Eve I will be spending without you. Big festivities have been organised by the Greens the whole week and I participated in the whole event, tonight I will play with other musicians in front of the whole city. Everybody will be having fun but I still cannot feel truly happy without you. I wish you were right here with everyone to hear me sing. I know I cannot loose hope. But I feel so lonely... Being away from you is becoming a real torture. What am I supposed to do ? Please reach out to me, by any way. I need it. I need you.
I love you.

What a mess. How could things end up like this? I am alone, scared, sick, hidden, far from where I belong. But do I even belong there anymore? It feels like nothing matters anymore. They are all dead anyway. Are you even alive Sam? Why are you silent? How am I supposed to live like this? This is not a life. This is a nightmare but I cannot wake up. And I do not want to live in this nightmare anymore. Not without you. I want to join you. Wherever you are. I feel like I am dying, Sam. Maybe I actually am. Will you find me if I die here Sam? Will you find me even if was unable to find you?
I miss you so much.

Sam my beloved,
I love you. I always will. You are the moon of my life and my favorite person forever. But I cannot live in the past. I cannot end up like you when people relieve on me. I just needed to see it. I needed to open my heart again. And I could not do it while living only for your ghost. I think I had to almost die to understand it. I hope you will forgive me someday. I hope you will wait for me, wherever you are. One day, when the time will come, I will come back to you. I promise. Until then I will fight, for what I believe in, for what I love, for your memory. Like I taught you to.
I will love you forever and more.